calling you now

I wish I had wings to fly and to dive
In to the deeps of deep airless water.

I wish I had wings to stretch and cover all my shameful nakedness.

The dreaded bird has many scars all of which she would like to cover up with her colorful wings

I carried the boxes upon my shoulders and with each turn they scraped and scraped some more.

The map is on my skin marked out by needle heads and dried tear trails.

I never called you, i never needed to.

You were the guy in blinding white the let it rained red ink all over me.

It slid and danced the circumference of my skin.

Making circles and crossing paths till you said stop.

Now I'm one big red mistake marked out by stray marks and red x's.

When will you let it rain bleach instead?

When will i be clean again?

Im calling you now.