How to achieve the broken heart you always wanted in 10 easy steps:
Step 1: Move to Virginia (the state for lovers). Make sure you're leaving behind your family, your job/school and a loving partner like a girlfriend or boyfriend. It is also essential to make sure you're leaving your relationship on rocky grounds. To achieve this try arguing and bickering profusely in the most indecent manner possible. You know if you achieved this step if you start to feel a bitterness and a longing for more in the pit of your belly.
Step 2: Move in to a home with six people preferably a mixed home of men and women (more women then men). Each person should also have love interest from the same home state. This will add spice and further complicate things hopefully resulting in a broken heart at the end.
Step 3: This step is often the involuntary step so don't worry if it doesn't happen immediately for you. As for me it was instantaneous but I didn't recognize immediately. Befriend a really cool guy in the house (He must reside with you in order for deep rooted feelings to develop). Let time do its job.
Step 4: Watch him. Admire all the little things he does. Make him more than what you wanted in your mind. Make him studious, intelligent, fun, free spirited or whatever trait you like for a man. And every little thing he does will just prove God wants him to be yours.
Step 5: Take ownership of him. I mean it's only fair to make him yours in your mind. Step all over any threat that your fantasy may just be a fantasy and keep telling yourself "he feels the same about me also".
Step 6: Make his girlfriend your best friend. Make sure you encourage the relationship while comparing your compromised relationship to their harmonious one. Tell yourself "This is wrong and you're only in love because he has someone and you dont."
Step 7: Lie awake in bed and realize your previous statement was false. At this point you should be getting realistic images of liking him 2 years prior. You should remember how you couldn't look him in the eye and how you still have pictures of that friendly date to China Town over bubble tea.
Step 8: Accept that you have missed your opportunity. After a tearful battle with vague memories of his interest for you kiss them goodbye and accept the present. By now you should realize your lack of expression has gotten you to this point. Your indifference towards men has derailed his interest in you and he has decided to take a different path straight in to the arms of one of your good friends.
Step 9: Watch them. Watch them watch a movie (Because you yourself are in lack of stamina and endurance to watch a movie with them) on the couch, watch them flirt and bat their eyes towards eachother. Be sure to watch intently and don't forget to harbor some hope of their relationship being temporary in your heart. This step is to ensure that you are entrapped as a hopeful romantic, that one day he will look at her and look to you and proclaim his love for you. Remember do your best to spend as much time as possible around them.
Step 10: Last and probably the most important step to ensuring you'll achieve the coveted broken heart is to dwell and hope for a chance to be with him. Do not and I repeat do not move on. He may never come to you and like a dog you'll chase him to the end. Tell yourself "Individualism and integrity doesn't exist but what does exist is fairies, unicorns, Santa Claus and of course the promise of his hand in marriage with yours." If you follow these steps accordingly you'll be on your way to the broken and scarred heart you always wanted in no time. And if at any point you start finding yourself losing hope in this guy or another guy has come by to try and mend your broken heart just repeat these simple steps and you'll be back to those bitter tears in no time.
Step 2: Move in to a home with six people preferably a mixed home of men and women (more women then men). Each person should also have love interest from the same home state. This will add spice and further complicate things hopefully resulting in a broken heart at the end.
Step 3: This step is often the involuntary step so don't worry if it doesn't happen immediately for you. As for me it was instantaneous but I didn't recognize immediately. Befriend a really cool guy in the house (He must reside with you in order for deep rooted feelings to develop). Let time do its job.
Step 4: Watch him. Admire all the little things he does. Make him more than what you wanted in your mind. Make him studious, intelligent, fun, free spirited or whatever trait you like for a man. And every little thing he does will just prove God wants him to be yours.
Step 5: Take ownership of him. I mean it's only fair to make him yours in your mind. Step all over any threat that your fantasy may just be a fantasy and keep telling yourself "he feels the same about me also".
Step 6: Make his girlfriend your best friend. Make sure you encourage the relationship while comparing your compromised relationship to their harmonious one. Tell yourself "This is wrong and you're only in love because he has someone and you dont."
Step 7: Lie awake in bed and realize your previous statement was false. At this point you should be getting realistic images of liking him 2 years prior. You should remember how you couldn't look him in the eye and how you still have pictures of that friendly date to China Town over bubble tea.
Step 8: Accept that you have missed your opportunity. After a tearful battle with vague memories of his interest for you kiss them goodbye and accept the present. By now you should realize your lack of expression has gotten you to this point. Your indifference towards men has derailed his interest in you and he has decided to take a different path straight in to the arms of one of your good friends.
Step 9: Watch them. Watch them watch a movie (Because you yourself are in lack of stamina and endurance to watch a movie with them) on the couch, watch them flirt and bat their eyes towards eachother. Be sure to watch intently and don't forget to harbor some hope of their relationship being temporary in your heart. This step is to ensure that you are entrapped as a hopeful romantic, that one day he will look at her and look to you and proclaim his love for you. Remember do your best to spend as much time as possible around them.
Step 10: Last and probably the most important step to ensuring you'll achieve the coveted broken heart is to dwell and hope for a chance to be with him. Do not and I repeat do not move on. He may never come to you and like a dog you'll chase him to the end. Tell yourself "Individualism and integrity doesn't exist but what does exist is fairies, unicorns, Santa Claus and of course the promise of his hand in marriage with yours." If you follow these steps accordingly you'll be on your way to the broken and scarred heart you always wanted in no time. And if at any point you start finding yourself losing hope in this guy or another guy has come by to try and mend your broken heart just repeat these simple steps and you'll be back to those bitter tears in no time.
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